Today we are going to talk about victory. A win can be large or small. Some will be non-important to some while it is everything to another. The victory today is large no matter where you are in the world of material things. Yes, it may be a material thing, but it is one of the most important from the time you can grasp items in your hand. A small child understands the importance of control. The child will try to gain control from early on. Most have it and rule the house. But the control I’m talking about comes when you are an adult. And when you have this control, you can rule the world. At least your world.
There is a degree of control in any relationship. Ideal would be 50/50. That is not normally the case. If you are completely sure that has been the case in your relationships, you are probably the one with the most, if not all, the control. I promise you, the one with the least amount of control can tell you exactly how the control is distributed. Not that they would tell the one in control, but they will most likely tell everyone else.
When relationships are formed the distribution of control is set. It is not normally vocalized but both parties know who has the most, even if they do not admit it. Chores are divided up. Some are planned out while others are just assumed. Willingness, physical fitness and attitude all play a role in what a person does or does not do in a relationship. This isn’t about that.
I’m not talking about who takes out the trash, care of children (or elderly parent), pays the bills or even which one does the most for the other. I’m talking about the most important prized possession in any household. The television remote. And for all your crying, fussing, anger or sadness about losing your spouse whether in death or divorce the realization that you now have 100 % total control and power of the remote can bring a celebration to being single.
Picture yourself sitting in the oversized recliner you bought for him. It has been a long day. You want to watch that show you have been waiting to see for over a month. Your first thought is about what he would want to watch. And then you realize, you don’t have to care. A smile inches across your face until teeth are showing. You feel a bit silly smiling with no one else in the room. But again, you don’t have to care.
If nothing else in this cruel, harsh two by two world can bring you joy, you can now revel in the fact total control is yours. And then remember, it is only the beginning. You are strong and powerful and in control of your life. It may seem like a small triumph but triumph it is. And where one victory is made, others can follow. You Got This!
Babs Villa 